Virtual Masturbation and Hallucinations

Unfortunately I have not been able to blogg each time I have used Second Life so far, so I will have to consolidate.

The first time I signed on to SL I found it to be unnerving. Something about having a life like avatar makes this experience different than other online community experiences. When strangers approached me I found it to be weird and actually signed off after the first 5 minutes.

The second time I signed on I forced myself to stick it out. I teleported to Cote De Azure, it became immediately clear the importance of the Linden, as far as purchasing experiences and updating ones avatar to make it look more "normal." I visited Dance Island, which was a lot of fun, but again didn’t have money to purchase a dance code.
I also took a moment to drive a car, at which point two strangers hoped in and later propositioned me for a three way. Being a novice it was unclear to me how avatars can have a sex. Please keep in mind I was wearing a raccoon/squirrel costume. Perhaps this is some sort of indication of sexual prowess. Anyways, when I asked them (it was a man and a woman) what the point of sex was in SL, they left the room.

Later through further travels I found a lux mansion with a beautiful bed and two love buttons. I pressed one to find that my avatar is capable of "loving." Unfortunately my avatar had no company at the time. I experimented with the "love" capabilities, which range up to "get freaky." Eventually I may want to find a partner to experiment with.

The next time I tried SL I got locked in a sex dungeon for a day, completely on accident. It looked like a castle on the outside, but when I got in there were crazy chains and stretchers with handcuffs and ankle cuffs. I think there was some technical error with my computer. It was extremely frustrating being locked in a room with a giant round zebra skinned couch with buttons like “ride her” and “slam her.” I signed out and signed back in a few days later and was finally able to teleport out.

I also participated in our class meeting last weekend. Up until this point the whole experience felt somewhat debaucherous and downright sinful. The professor showed us more practical and perhaps less self-indulgent uses for this program. We explored Venice Beach and viewed an art gallery with really great political art. I bought a comic book about Darfur. I also received a link to Burning Life, a replica of Burning Man it seems. That was an amazing experience with moirés that you can walk into and perceive from the inside out causing a hallucinatory effect. Unfortunately again, no one was there so I was unable to share the experience. I will definitely be revisiting that location.

My main finding thus far and part of my uneasiness about the whole experience is my inability to control my emotions as I experience this virtual space. While understanding that it is not real, logically my psyche reacts as if it were. When approached for a three-way I was literally appalled and found myself running away from the couple. Later the next day walking down the street in RL I felt an odd sense of disembodiment if you will. As if what I was viewing was not my experience. The likeness of movement on SL to real life basically trips me out. However I have found that the more I use it, the less strange it becomes. As far as the experiences and reacting to them, I have found more productive ways to experience SL, such as the art gallery. I am interested in checking out more activism on second life and seeing how those experiences would pan out I am also interested in what sexuality means in this space.